Of Points and Purposes

Call it a post about the magnificence of God and our complete inability to fully comprehend Him. Because, as you will see, that really is what it is. To an extent, some of what I bring up here will harken back to some things I said in this short post, but for the most part it is its own amalgam of ideas. Mainly, I just want to address some thoughts that have been rolling around in my head for much too long (probably about a year or so... I really need to do this more often). But enough with the preamble, let's get going.

Man has, for all intents and purposes, always seemed to think that his own ability to reason has set him above all else. Reason is the ultimate pinnacle of his evolution. Man even uses Reason to destroy and replace God in his life. At one point, this is not even an allegory, but a truth; think Voltaire or the "Temple of Reason".
Anyway, my point is thus: man sees Reason as the ultimate equalizer. All concepts, ideas, and notions must be able to stand under the wave of philosophical and scientific (I am going to be focusing philosophy-wise in this entry, a science-ish one may come at a later point) questioning. Now, look at the on thing that has, above all else, dominated the realm of philosophical debate: God (and as a quick aside, it is interesting to propose the fact that this God debate has is almost always the Judeo-Christian God. Never do you hear people debating the existence of Greco-Roman gods, or even really Allah. Just an interesting little nugget to think on). God is, without a doubt, the single most popular character in all human history. Love Him or hate Him, He has always been there (as both a concept of debate and in reality!).

Now all of this banter back and forth does serve a purpose, but it is not actually the purpose that you would at first assume. There are truthfully two aspects: a "point" and a "purpose", both of which are twofold. I will address both, but let me first delineate my meaning. The "point" of all this debate is just as you may think it would be. On the one side it is to prove, by use of reason, that God exists. Conversely the other side of the debate seeks to do just the opposite, proving that He does not. And it is through this debate that the "purpose" is eschewed. The purpose on the one side is that we are able to, to a greater extent, understand the ways that God works and just who He is. Whereas the opposite purpose is the ultimate raising of oneself as the final judge, thereby finding justification, and in fact validation, for a self-centered life (and perhaps this seems a bit harsh at this point, but let me know what you think once you finish the whole of the post). So, all of this introduction is well and good, but let's get to the meat and potatoes.

The Point (part 1): Proving that God does not exist
I think I am going to take these in the reverse order of their original listing, so first I want to look at the side who's point stands against my own; to prove God is nonexistent. Frankly, I feel that this point of the debate is pretty silly, but that is only personal opinion and bias so pay it no heed for now. So yes, I understand that there have been many tragic episodes throughout history in the name of religion (I present for your consideration The Crusades or The Spanish Inquisition), but you cannot really say that humanity as a whole is kinder without it either (hello Hitler, Stalin, etc). This may be part of the reasoning that is put forth as to why this point is pursued, but take that away and what have you? A search for "truth" after the removal of "truth". What room would there be for any absolutism in a randomly worked together universe?Much of what I see on this side of the room is to simply establish man (and ultimately oneself) as the highest being in existence.
Listen, to attempt to disprove God is an exercise in pride. Nothing more. You are not making the world a better place by attempting to prove the reason for millions of peoples' hopes, and desires to help their fellow man, is not real. You simply, at the end of the day, are trying to be able to say "I was right and you were wrong, so there!" A bit childish and naive to be honest.
This, of course, all ties into the purpose that I will come to. But, for now, if I seem a bit accusatory or narrow-minded I apologize, but I cannot see much of a point, outside of what I have stated, to this endeavor. Perhaps you would say it is to free men from the "burden of religion" so he can expend his energy on learning and other such pursuits (though to take a quick second, following God by no means excludes these pursuits, but I would argue quite often enhances them). But then let me ask you, if you believe what you argue, why are you putting yourself under that "burden" as well by spending so much of your time on it, instead of going out to these other pursuits? Who are you truly trying to convince by spending all this time arguing against God; us or yourself?
Whereby the purpose comes, so let me get on to that.

The Purpose (part 1): Self Justification
Now, the purpose of arguing against the existence of God is such that it has a couple aspects to look at separately. Primarily, it is what I have already stated, that of a self-centered life. In a world without God, you may help others, reach out and establish great works, or even perform som deed that saves the world. But in the end any edification, and any glory, is directed straight (and only) to you. You are the primary target of your actions. Your life is about you, and only for you. There is no one to thank, no one that you pass the honor on to (quick aside: this is by no way meaning to belittle the truly selfless acts people do still commit even if they do not believe in God. Mean and women give their lives every day for the sake of causes such as freedom. This post is looking in a purely philosophical sense at the entire story of one's life. Whereas the follower of God seeks to make their life about and for their Lord, those outside of that have a story that cannot reflect beyond oneself).
The other main aspect, and a slightly less concrete part of the purpose, is that of arguing towards a less complex existence. Think of it in this way: without the existence of God you have so many fewer questions that are as difficult to answer (I. E. the problem of pain). There becomes no need either to search for the presence of any meaning, because if all we are is the product of some random chance occurrence, then the level of meaning in the universe is simply zero (one of my favorite quotes by Lewis fits here, "If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning"). Thusly, the purpose of the man arguing against God is to provide for himself a less complex, less accountable life (realize please, that the purpose is a meant as a less distinct effect of the pursuer's point).

The Point (part 2): Proving that God exists
On the flip-side is, obviously, to use this great gift of the ability to reason in order to prove that God does, in fact, exist. Now, this is all well and good, and quite a few decent arguments have come out of this (and some that are a bit harder to grasp, such as the Ontological Argument) but there is not yet a strictly philosophical concept that fully and without argument proves God (there is really so so much more to get into here that I just can't, for the sake of time and the flow of this post. But suffice to say that it is because of this that the argument continues), nor do I believe there ever will be. Granted, there are a great many theologian/philosophers that have put forth great philosophical evidences for the existence of God, and it is on these which we can continue to build. But, in the end, it comes to a point of acceptance versus the struggle for complete understanding, a concept that Kant and Kierkegaard both ascribed to (more on that in another post perhaps).
Our point is to argue towards the existence of God, but it is an important fact to remember that the very nature of the Judeo-Christian God is that He is non-quantifiable, He is beyond the reach of reason. This is due, mostly to the fact that He created us and exists on such a different level than us. We cannot begin to truly understand His nature until we meet Him face to face, and spend our days in His presence.  Beyond that, there is much more that must be considered with the nature of space and time, but this post is not really focused there. Because of how far above us He is, and because we live in a primarily physical realm with only spiritual influence, we cannot fully understand God, and we cannot fully contain Him within our musings. God is not completely mind-wrappable (I know, not a real term, but I believe the concept is relayed so I am going with it), and it is because of this that we cannot fully reach our point; thus we have our purpose.

The Purpose (part 2): A further understanding of God
If by this point anything seems a bit convoluted, I apologize, but we are on the last chunk so stay strong!
Alright, so the way in which we have consistently sought to bring about evidence unto our point has led to an inevitable conclusion in our purpose, namely the deepening of our understanding of the being of God (and the deepening assurance that we have an infantile understanding, with so far to go). By the very nature of the way we grow, we are always learning, and always seeking to know more. The thing is, with God we can never be finished learning, never fully understand, never be finished seeking; there is always more to discover. Think of it in the words of Dante, "Rather, as I grew worthier to see, the more I looked, the more unchanging semblance appeared to change with every change in me. Within the depthless deep and clear existence of that abyss of light three circles shone--three in color, one in circumference." [Paradiso, Canto 33, lines 112-117, translation by John Ciardi]
Furthermore, our approach is much more than for the sake of learning alone, but it is much more experiential than that. You see, we seek more than just a sterile academice understanding of who God is, because we know that there is a relationship aspect to the pursuit of God. No, our search for understanding must have a much more visceral, meaningful approach. Now, one of the foremost parts of this purpose is to simply know the being of God. But where we run into difficulty with using only human reason (remember; lean not on your own understanding) is that the mind of God is so far beyond what we can comprehend. In fact, it is constricting to say that God sees anything the same way as we do. We are bound by the limitations of a physical universe, and we cannot search for a God who also fits within the constraints of this same universe (otherwise we search for a God who has limited Himself).
Our God is so much more. He exists outside of time and space, with the power to bring about whatever His will may be (think omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence). But as far as He is above us, He also is so willing to be with us, and to communicate with us (for some neat posts on prayer by a friend of mine, see here, then here, then lastly here). So in the end we find ourselves doing all we can to provide evidences towards the existence of God, and in reaching for that point we find the purpose of drawing closer to knowing and understanding Him. 


Our ability to reason really is remarkable, and I think that it can lead us to know a good deal of the way that God works, but it is not our only resource, nor should we treat it as such. Remember that we have also been given His word, and an unmatchable connection with Him through Christ and through the Holy Spirit in us.

Reflection on Russia (round 2)

On a bit of a tangent from the type of writings which I normally have a proclivity for, this post is actually the final update for my internship in Russia.
This post will also be found on the SunErgos blog (<--link) along with a few neat pictures :)
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

It's like, no matter what, sometimes there are places that you are just supposed to be. Coming into this summer I had a lot of different opportunities that came my way, and a lot of things that threatened to keep me from traveling to Russia. There was the difficulty in raising funds, the worry about not having a job when I return, and the fact that I had a great job I could have taken in lieu of this trip and been living completely comfortably right now. Stress and difficulty aren't the only things that threaten to keep you from doing the work you are supposed to, but temptation of an easy life can as well. 

Yet, we are not called to easy life. 

Through all the time preparing for this trip, I kept having to just tell myself to trust in the plan that God had laid before me, and to block out the distractions and doubts. The place that you are supposed to be does not always have to be the place that is the easiest to be, because, to be honest, He often has more in store for us than we can see with our own sight, limited as it is.  And now, looking back on the time that I have had here, I know without even a shadow of a doubt that this really was the place that I was supposed to be this summer. The people that I have met, the friendships that I have built, and the work that I have been able to do and assist with while here demonstrates that to me clear as a bell.

Now I sit here, on my final day in Russia this summer, reflecting on what I have seen God do in my life, in my heart, and in the hearts and lives of those around me. The last week has gone by in the blink of an eye. The Vanguard team wrapped up the last few days of their Olympics themed camp by taking the kids on a boat ride on Wednesday, creating an Olympic-color themed handprint banner and doing closing ceremonies on Thursday, and then finishing installing a new Volleyball net for the center and saying goodbye on Friday. Even with the goodbyes fresh on their minds, the Vanguard team went into debriefing for their trip on Friday afternoon (which I was given the responsibility and privilege of leading). Friday night we had some celebration for another birthday on the team, and then the team got to work packing and cleaning the church where we had been staying the past couple weeks.

I hardly slept at all Friday night, knowing that in the morning I would be leaving Novgorod with the team. So much has happened this summer there, and it honestly felt like I was preparing to leave my home. But morning came, and I departed with Marina and the Vanguard team towards St. Petersburg and Pulkovo airport, from which the team would be departing for Moscow, and then home to America. The remainder of my time back in St. Pete has been spent simply catching up the last of the accounting for the teams, and finishing up the sightseeing with the third CBU team that is still here in the city.

I could never have made it through this summer without the amazing people that God has put here to lead this ministry and to help along the way. Marina, Ksusha, Olya, Valya, Misha, Alena, Nastya, and all of the people that came out to Novgorod and St. Petersburg this year to serve; thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have been blessed by the way that you live, and by the example you have set of the way in which God's love is shared. Also, you have touched so many children's lives in a way that will stay with them for as long as they live. You have made a difference.

I ask, as I get ready to leave, that those of you reading this blog please continue to keep the ministry of SunErgos, and all of the lives that have been touched this summer in prayer. There are still some more teams coming this summer, but those people that live here in Russia will continue to minister to the children for the rest of the year as well. Pray for strength, for wisdom, and that God would continue to pour out His love through them. Thank you all so much for the support that you have given me, without which I would not have made it here.

Goodbye for now Russia, I will be seeing you again.

On Hope

Hope is the recourse of the faithful.

Let me explain.

We are given reason to hope in our faith. Not because of the act of having faith, but because of the One in which our faith is placed. That is to say, His promises, powers, consistency, and love give us a reason to have hope for the future in the first place. When we cannot see what is ahead of us, when there seems to be no escape from the mire that we have become solidly rooted in, we let our faith give us hope that there will be a way out. It is our recourse by way of, when all else fails, it is there to fall back on, and we know this because of the promise we find through out faith.

Hope is the inextinguishable candle that lights the darkness. 

And yet, at the same time, it is so much more. Hope is a reason to move forward, to hold on when the odds are not in your favor. It is the strength of those that have nothing else, because hope cannot be matched for the simple power of motivation that it holds. Furthermore, to hope is an exercise of the Spirit; Lamentations 3:26 says, “It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

But returning to my initial statement, I think that it is important to more closely examine the roots of hope, and why it is so different for those who have faith.

For the man who does not believe, hope may still be come by. It is not a singular attribute of those who have found salvation. But it is a hope of a different sort which that man finds. Whereas our hope stems ultimately from faith (to be addressed more in just a bit), his comes only by what is temporary and fallible. He may have hope by a person, but people can fail or change. He may put hope in a system of some sort, be it government or something else, but where power is established and dispersed, corruption pursues. The face is that man’s hope in that which is of the world may in fact come to pass, but what is the result afterward? Where does that hope go, or the energy which was put into it? And what happens if that which the man had hoped so dearly for does not come to pass at all, or comes about and the result is lackluster? 

Hope in worldly powers is often misplaced, and just as soon it is replaced. Hope, in the end, can only go so far as the entity to which the hope has been ascribed. If the reason for that hope changes or disappears, the hope dies, leaving the man who dared hope in the first place more despondent than when he first began.

Do not take this the wrong way though, because I am by no means saying that hope has no reason outside of faith. I am making a comparison of reliability not purpose. Many of the greatest stories that we tell, whether fact or fiction, revolve around a central theme of hope.

My point is just this: hope built upon anything other than our faith is not longer assurance, but liability. It is a similar idea to the parable of the man who built his house on the sand and the man who built his house on the rock.

To bring a bit of a happier tone, let’s look back to that original point shall we? One of my favorite passages from Romans explains the concept rather well:

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." [5:1-5]

Paul illuminates the reason for hope with his words. By the Holy Spirit, who is in us, we have the love of God poured out into our lives. This love is what allows us to glory in our tribulations, which in turn with give rise to hope. By our faith we are filled.

We know that there is a power that is in the world, yet not of the world, and that it is greater than all else. When the faithful man is found in want, he will always find that he has an assurance upon which he can cast his hopes. 

Note that word: assurance. It is confidence that what we have been given reason to hope for will come to pass, and it is what has been given to us through the gift of salvation. Whether we see the result ourselves or not.

Look, God didn’t save the world so that we would continue to live in darkness, but so that we would see that He is the One always there, even in the dark times, holding the candle that will not be put out.

Forward Motion

You know, one of the coolest things about Jesus is that he never had to say much to get his point across. Sure, if he wanted to he could speak for a great time at length (i.e. Sermon on the Mount), but the fact of the matter is that he didn't need to if he didn't want to. More often than not, Jesus solved problems, answered questions, and confounded the most learned scholar with just a single phrase. 

His words carry so much weight, that today, thousands of years after he walked this Earth, people still read them and find comfort, become challenged or convicted, and see truth for (sometimes) the first time. 

I recently read something that I had to have gone over many a time before, yet never realized the weight of the words. John 5:8, a simple verse, but it contains so much if you think on it. The verse goes like this:

Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your bed and walk."

The phase was spoken to a lame man who lay at the healing pool, waiting for his chance to become whole. Few of us find ourselves in such a situation, but the words spoken still bear truth for us to hear. For me, this message is simply one of moving forward.

Rise- Let's be honest, sometimes we get stuck. Stuck laying down and waiting for something to happen. Stuck sitting and hoping that some outside force will come along and help us move forward by getting rid of the problem for us. The fact of the matter is this: we already have all that we need, we just have to get up first.
God promised to never leave nor forsake us, and He has plans beyond our wildest dreams in store, all we have to do is go with it. To achieve anything, one has to realize that you can't just take life lying down, you have to rise up, you have to take a stand, you have to make the move yourself. You have to take some initiative.
God wants to help you, He wants to see you prosper, but He can't make the choice for you. What He can do, when you are stuck and feeling beaten by circumstance, is what He has already done. He told you where to start. He told you, "Rise."

Take up your bed- This part struck me the most out of anything. Stop for a second and think about what that means. Not just the words themselves, but what it really means to follow this command. The bed that the man laid on holds more meaning than just being a mat. He was infirm for the past thirty-eight years of his life. His bed had become more than just a spot to lay his head, it had become the thing that defined him, that spoke about his condition, that showed others exactly where he was in life.
So why take such a thing with him? Why carry something that would do nothing but remind him of those past thirty-eight years?
He takes up his bed because it is a reminder. There is a quote, sadly cited to an unknown source, that goes "You can't know where you're going, unless you know where you've been." The man's bed is his past, it is where he has been. Part of moving forward in life is not ignoring what has happened in the past, but finding instead who you are in spite of the past you carry with you.
For those of us that follow Jesus, we discover more and more who we are as we do His will, as we live out our lives constantly seeking him. You may still have to carry your past with you, but when Jesus steps into your life things change completely. That bed you laid on is no longer what defines you, it is simply the catalyst for where your story really, truly began.

And Walk- And move forward. And live your life. And don't forget who it was that helped you get up, for the first time in so long. Actually taking those first steps will be hard, and may even feel somewhat unfamiliar, but they are essential. If you stay standing in the same place, you will eventually lay down once again, returning to you bed. You have to walk to move forward.
The hardest part is that sometimes, we simply don't know where to begin. We were in the same spot so long, that everything else seems strange now. But the fact is, you already have begun. You stood up. As far as moving forward from there goes; start by listening. The same one that told you to rise in the first place will not, has not, abandoned you. He is there, ready to help you along the way, all you have to do is ask, and listen for His reply.

The picture is almost complete, but not quite. Look back a couple verses at 5:6. The first question that Jesus asks the man is extremely important, He said to him, "Do you want to be made well?"
Jesus will work with you, He will heal you and give you the chance for a life that, otherwise, you would never have known. But you have to want it. You have to accept it. You have to let Him do the work that He so badly wants to do for you.

Once all is said and done, you are no longer that person, sick and laying on a bed, waiting for a miracle. You are no longer given your identity by your infirmity. You are the one that Jesus stopped and spoke to, the one that He cared for, the one that He healed.

And, look at that, you're moving forward, one, somewhat shaky, step at a time.

A cry of wonder

In The Ragamuffin Gospel Brennan Manning quotes Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, saying, "Never once in my life did I ask God for success or wisdom or power or fame. I asked for wonder, and He gave it to me."

Take a look around. You don't have to look very far at all to see the wonder that is displayed. Think of God showing the beauty of His creation to you and asking, "Do you like it? I made it all for you."
How insane to try and comprehend that out of the vast array of literal awesomeness expressed throughout the cosmos we would be so important that He should notice us.
And not just take notice of us, but to humble Himself to the point of death to demonstrate how much He outright LOVES us. A single act that cleanly wipes the slate of the best that man has ever had to offer.

But still, despite all He has done, we seem to think that we can build towers to heaven. We think that our "wisdom", the incredible ability of man to reason, will save us. There is no creature so arrogant as man. Our very struggle to leave a footprint on the universe will be but a grain of sand dropped into the roaring seas when time has come to an end. It is inevitable that no matter what man achieves, the universe would one day forget him.
The man who thinks himself most wise shall one day be brought low by the realization of the power held within a single act. "Wisdom" is but foolishness if it leads away from the message of the gospel.

1 Corinthians 1:18 beautifully displays the wonder of His gift to us in contrast to our own attempts at greatness; "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to those of us who are being save it is the power of God."
Why foolishness you say? A man considered wise by others may see himself as above the idea of salvation, that the message delivered on the cross is nothing to which he should pay any heed. To him, it is a story and carries no weight. The power of God is understood best by those who seek to be saved, not by those that seek to save themselves, those that seek to make themselves great in other men's eyes.

How much a single moment where God acts can overshadow us, and it is in His works that we must believe, for what can we truly achieve by ourselves? Paul writes several verses later in 1 Corinthians 2:5 "that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God." This is why He came, this is why He surrounds us daily with beauty beyond our understanding. It is because He wants us to know that it is by Him we are saved, through His power alone.

Cry out in wonder at the magnificence around you. Take a moment to lose your focus on your busy daily routine and look around you. If we focus too hard on the path we are walking we will miss the beauty of the sunset being painted above. Psalm 19 is fantastic in the way that it expresses the beauty of creation saying, "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows His handiwork. Day unto day utters speech, and night unto night reveals knowledge. There is no speech nor language where their voice is not heard. Their line has gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world."

Don't get caught up in trying to be wise by the standards of the world; the world itself will pass away one day. Instead, seek His love, accept His gift to us, forsake all for His purpose. The wisdom and the achievements of men are as nothing when brought into juxtaposition with the cross, all it serves to do is to demonstrate how we can never reach Him without His reaching out to us.
Think of the words of Paul in Philippians 3:7-14:

----But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.-----

His word inspires me, and I am filled with wonder. For this reason I will run with all that I am towards Him, leaving behind all that the world counts as wise, and pursuing the foolish beauty of the cross.

The question of the Eternal

A little while back I tried my hand at a bit of philosophy, just for fun. The following is what I ended up with. It resembles the cosmological argument slightly, and it is by no means complete, I just wanted to share it.

The case for the eternal:
It is impossible, I find, to logically consider the existence and nature of the universe without realizing that there must be an eternal realm which lies outside the universe. This argument is best presented by looking at the nature of time. Time delineates both a beginning and an end for the universe, and so we measure the current age of the universe by time, and for all of our purposes the two are inextricably tied together.
So time demonstrates a definitive length, during which the universe exists, and the conditions within the universe demonstrate that all things are only the product of other things. The point is two-fold; first, the universe could not have simply started to exist with nothing prior to it. This idea would set the universe outside of time, at a point where it both always and never existed. Since the universe will end it cannot always exist, and since it is, it cannot never exist. Also, since the universe is tied to, and bound in, time, it cannot exist outside of it. The second part of this point is that anything of finite length, as determined by time, had a beginning, which is to say a force prior to it which, in acting in some way, caused the beginning. Following this logic, there must be a force in an infinite state (else beginnings are removed ad infinitum); that is that which resides in the eternal realm.
The question at this point is in regards to the nature of the eternal, and not its existence. We must realize, primarily, that the eternal realm must have laws that do not match our own, and that the exact nature of these laws cannot be stipulated by us given the fact that our knowledge is limited to the observable and measurable (and finite) universe. Though, assuming a physical force within the eternal there are laws that may be inferred, as shall be discussed.
The Nature of the Eternal:
The establishment of the idea of an eternal realm leads us to ask what the eternal is.
--The Universe--
Starting most locally we look at the idea of the universe itself being eternal, a view which would necessitate a looping life-span given the fact of a beginning and end to the universe (we have already established the universe cannot be eternal in the sense that is strictly sprang up, being as that would set the universe outside of time). The looping model would present a universe that acts much like the stars within it, shrinking down and exploding out again, forming new stars. There are several apparent problems with this model. Looking at the later stages of a star, it absorbs material into itself, undergoes rapid nuclear fusion (releasing a great amount of energy), then explodes and only about 1/1000 of the solar mass worth of material is expelled; this material interacts with other material to form the new star. The problems with modeling the universe after this cycle to explain it as the eternal factor are clear: much of the process requires interaction with forces outside of itself (it cannot be eternal and alone), and also it releases a much smaller amount of material, which would make any loop a decaying loop, which in turns assigns age.
--Time--
If we look at time itself as the eternal, then we would have to see the universe as a simple number on a number line, stretching to infinity in either direction. Yet, supposing this, we must also suppose that the point at which the universe exists could be any point, all points, and no points. This argument would the be seen as having been already established as false. Furthermore, time is a measurable constant, it affects but does not (as far as we have seen) produce. For time to be the eternal it would have to exist as a force and not a measure, and being a universal constant, time could not exist independent of itself (the eternal force needing to be outside of time).
--Physical Force--
The eternal realm can also be looked at as being made up of a physical force, the laws and state of which we cannot know for sure, being limited to our own universe. This idea makes the most sense of any so far since, in the physical world, something cannot spontaneously come out of nothing. However, for this to be true there would have to be, existing in the eternal, a useable yet un-diminishable physical force capable of generating [randomly generating] highly ordered systems, or universes, such as our own (which contains us, beings capable of thought, that would have been generated by a force incapable of intelligence).
The problem with this system comes upon the fact that such a system would likely have laws similar to our own, being as we are a product of, and subordinate to, this force. While it is true that we could not stipulate these laws with certainty, we can infer that our laws and the laws in this realm would be close, and if this were the case, then an useable but un-diminishable force would be nearly impossible. Following this line of thought we see that a physical eternal force, while not altogether impossible, is highly improbable. [[For a more in-depth look at an idea of a physical eternal force, see Stephen Hawking's book The Grand Design. Though keep in mind that M-theory is not proven, and poses the need for grand meta-laws that would enable many of the actions of M-theory to take place. The problem is that the meta-laws are unexplained and must simply be accepted as a given. Needless to say it is only one of the stances that physicists take.]]
--The Spiritual--
The final possibility for the eternal realm is that the force residing there lies both outside the temporal and physical realms. A force with such characteristics would follow the stipulation that it cannot be known at all by simply observing the known physical universe, and could also therefore be outside the limitations of the finite. This realm can be looked at as the Spiritual, and the force that resides within it is God, an unknowable (by scientific standards) and unfathomable being/existence.

So yeah. Probably quite a bit to still work on in that. But it was fun to write.
Questions or comments?

Reflection on Russia

Honestly, I cannot fully express everything that my recent trip has been in words.

During the debrief time at the end of my trip, I read this poem to express a lot of how the trip made me feel. 

I still think it applies rather well, to give a general view of the impact.

A missing person

   Afterthought 

      Always chasing what is not

Steady growth

   I cannot change

      Yet gaining more within my range

I do not know

   I cannot hear

      Approaching only what I fear

New desires

   Misbegotten

      Shall become old, and then forgotten

I cannot see

   Just what is true

      But I shall find myself in You

My one goal

   That I have truly

      Is to pursue You, and pay You duly

But I am at

   A loss to pay

      Forever ruined in my way

So give to me

   One more chance

      Within this, my lifelong dance

While I can never

   Pay it back

      You have provided what I lack

Now I will live 

   Just to serve

      Making straight what once did curve

A prodigal

   One that was lost

      I am forgiven by the Lord of hosts

Where found

   Empty desire

      Consume me now with all Your fire

Let my life

   My heart, my all

      Before You only forever fall

I have grown

   From no hope

      Broadened horizons, widened scope

Take me out

   Of the darkness

      So that Your Love I can harness

While I totter

   On an edge

      Still You will receive this pledge

So I stand

   Forever thankful

      For a Love beyond the hateful

Hateful lives

   That stem from fears

      Others that collapse in tears

Reaching far

   Beyond myself

      To understand those on this shelf

I would become

   What I dream

      In order to provide a seem

To fix a hole

   In Someone's heart

      Turn them from ruin to work of art

But only through

   The strength of One

      Who understood before I'd begun

So not on my

   Two feet I stand

       But on my rock, and in His hand

Ignorance is [not] bliss

There is a time and a place for all things. Well, for most things. 
Much of life calls for us to take a stand and further ourselves, and in these times we cannot simply remain unmoving and willfully ignore what is going on. Knowledge is necessary, it allows us to move forward.


Perhaps I am simply stating something that is already fairly popular opinion, but I cannot believe that God made us to live in a blind faith, in a purposeful ignorance of how the world itself relates to Him. By saying the world, I mean all aspects of the human search for truth; philosophy, science, theology, et al. It is our responsibility to use the intelligence given to us to discover for ourselves how we may both justify and defend our faith, so that we may be more stable in our own reasons for belief in a world that is becoming more antagonistic towards us every day. 
Solomon said in proverbs: let the wise listen and add to their learning, 
   and let the discerning get guidance. 

Not only is it imperative that we understand why we, each of us personally, have come to believe the way that we do, but we must also use our minds to understand others, to understand how they believe and why they have come to believe it. 

To hold a conversation, or to try and debate someone, on the basis of a less than complete understanding of either our own belief, or of theirs, will simply be babbling; incoherent and pointless. 

It is when you know what you are saying that you truly have something to say.

There is a quote by John Paul II on the relation between Faith and Reason that I will close with, I think it ties much of what I am trying to say together well.

"Faith and reason are like two wings on which the human spirit rises to the contemplation of truth; and God has placed in the human heart a desire to know the truth—in a word, to know himself—so that, by knowing and loving God, men and women may also come to the fullness of truth about themselves."

To begin...

A friend once said to me "Speak up. You have something to say and the world is waiting."

That was several years ago, but I can honestly say that it is something that I have taken with me and think on often. So here I am, beginning to speak up.
I wouldn't exactly say that this is an attempt to fulfill that statement, but it is a beginning, and you have to start somewhere.

As to the title of the blog, it means "with death changed my life." Stumbled across it doing some research a few years back and quite enjoy the phrase.

For those of you who will be following; thanks. I hope you enjoy it, and please leave comments on any post I put up in the foreseeable future, the discussion will be greatly appreciated.

Friends, enjoy.